O-DISKS: The Adventures of Xion the Second! (Aka Omni Cop Tales)
by Vanitus Omnipotent
Summary: A collaboration between me and Yui. Set between the tales of Omni and Yui in the CTWL, LOS, and others, Xion the second attempts to create a power to save the omniverse. But an evil force took the most foul villains in all media and now with the help of Yui, she must stop the villain from destroying the omniverse. All while catching heroes and villains galore!
1. Prologue

Episode Prologue- O-DISK System and Forbidden Power!

-The Void-

Yui groaned while losing a lot of hope as he cannot make it to the Zoo to save the day from Sutinav, as for some reason, he couldn't open a portal to that location. "This sucks! This isn't how it should be, I should be storming the place guns ablazing and kicking some ass, but that sicko could be doing who knows what!"

He kicked a star while taking a seat on a large asteroid as he was getting very pissed and was worried about his family, Jack for some reason, and Omni, wherever he is.

"Man, I liked it better when things actually went right, of course, right now Xion's probably got the best chance as ever to try and save the day if I can't. I just hope all that work we did was enough, because oh boy, it wasn't easy." he sighed while the screen zoomed in on his face before focusing on the right side with the background changing to show the inside of the Zoo. "Why I remember it like it was just yesterday."

(Massive continuous flashback)

It was a hectic day as Yui made sure that the Zoo was hectic while Jack was busy testing out portals in another dimension.

Yui whistled while walking from the bathrooms, all of them overflowing with some of the security staff drenched.

"Damn it Yui!"

"Oh god it's everywhere!"

"This is sick and wrong, even for you!"

"Don't blame me gents, blame the man who invented dynamite." he chuckled.

They glared at him while looking ready to tackle him and give him a wedgie.

"You will get yours one day!"

"I've been told that so many times I'd be a rich man just by getting a penny from each one." He smirked before seeing Xion walking by with a depressed look on her face. "Hey Xion, what's up? You look like someone ran over your dog."

She looked at him before whispering to him. "Come with me to the basement, my father has a lab there Jack doesn't know about….and I saw a dog die…" 'WHY?!'

"Oh, I've been to that lab before."

"Then come with me." She said sadly while walking away.

He raised an eyebrow before following.

(In the secret lab)

Yui looked around and noticed that it had several large computers and several strange machines with several cages nearby. "Well this is all new."

"I added these without father's approval."

"But why?"

"..." she sighed. "Because I need help with something."

Yui blinked at this. "And that would be….what?"

Xion walked to one of the machines. "Unlike my father who can summon beings at will, I can not. I'm not connected to the omniverse, thus I am powerless when my body and powers are exploited. So...I found a solution...to that problem."

"Well that's great, but why are you sad then?"

She typed something on the computer as the name DISK appeared. "On Earth- 14042 in the Marvel multiverse, there exists a system that allows a villain or hero to be digitized and stored into tiny disk like objects, making them easier to store….but Loki found another way of using them." She caused an image of several villains getting released to appear. "Use them as weapons, for when a person is placed in a DISK, they are effectively immortal and able to heal themselves after each battle. In a sense, permanent good health."

"So kinda like putting them in pokeballs."

"Yes, but with the prospect of them being dangerous." She sighed. "And without a time limiter, which the heroes of this world have, they can run amok and kill without worry. But that's not why I'm sad."

"Then why?"

"...I want to use this technology for myself, but not for Marvel heroes and villains, but…" she grumbled quietly.

"What was that?"

"...I said. For omniversal heroes and villains, those from different series and worlds, I want them for my lack of summoning." She looked at her feet. "But I feel like I can't do it….for my father is better than me, I'm a shadow compared to him."

"Ah, I see how it is." nodded Yui while patting her head. "You know Xion, there comes a time when every kid feels that way. Usually they try to be like them, better, or in some cases, go nuts and kill their fathers while running off to join the circus. The only question to ask is which is more your style?"

"..." she sighed. "I want to be better then him...but I don't want to make him upset or worse, be disappointed in me."

"Xion, he made sure the best minds around could make you since he can't get it up there himself. You really think wanting to be just like him would make him do a one-eighty and hate your guts? Please, this isn't some amateurish fanfiction, it's real life."

She nodded. "So can you help….uncle Yui?"

"Of course I can. My powers not as good as it use to, but I got enough in me for a quickie." he remarked unzipping his pants.

And cue her grabbing it and squeezed tightly. "Not like that."

"Aiyeeee!" he squeaked out in pain. "Oops...my bad."

Xion let go before showing him on the screen five different DISKS, one red, one blue, one yellow, one purple and one green. "Each DISK is categorized by color. The red ones are tech based, blue fighting based, yellow is animal or anything that can't be categorized by the other four, purple is energy, and the green one is power. Red are those that used technology or are technology, blue are for physical attacks and martial arts, yellow are animals or uncategorized, purple are mystical or energy based, and green are for those with super strength." She then turned to him. "While the colors can change, I want to use this category system for the DISK 0.2 system or the O-DISK system."

"The what?"

"The Omniversal Digital Identity Securement Kit, or O-DISK." Xion deadpanned.

"...I'm just gonna pretend I understand and say good call."

She nodded. "Anyway, what color do you want to change them to?"

"Uh….orange with a hint of indigo."

"For which one?" She asked while pointing to the color coated DISKS.

"Tech."

"Ok tech will be orange ichigo." She typed that up on the screen. "Fight will be pure brown."

"Maybe make animal pale yellow."

"Maybe amber?" Xion suggested. "Or vomit color?"

"Amber works."

She typed that up. "For energy, maybe crimson or white?"

"White."

"Ok now we have power….but I'm stuck on a color." She grumbled.

"Black, after all, what could be more powerful than the inevitable darkness of the soul?" he asked in a gothic tone while rubbing her head like a crystal ball.

"...pop tarts?"

"It's not pop tarts!" he yelled out.

"But father told me it was the answer to all things."

"If only it were true, but the only answer it can't fill in is why we keep getting bad sitcoms."

Xion blinked confused before finishing typing the new colors in. "Ok now to activate the omniversal database and randomize the villains and heroes-"

"Push random buttons!" spoke up Yui before typing away randomly. "This is what true science is all about, it's all they ever do in tv."

She nodded before typing random buttons, not knowing that in the process a being was forming within the computer.

(Later)

Xion looked at the new DISKS on the table while they looked….very empty and boring looking for Yui, especially when they are gray in color.

"Wow, this just got real lame real fast."

"Because we didn't add any one to them." Xion said bluntly. "We just made the DISKS, not add the 'criminals' into them."

"Hey, I resemble that fact."

"Anyway, let's test it out." She turned to Yui. "Can you summon a hero or villain?"

"Course I can." he replied before focusing his power and formed a portal.

"Just one thing." Xion said. "Don't make it too big, this is a tiny lab and Jack might get mad."

"Relax, I know what I'm doing." He said before summoning Penny.

"Huh? Where am I?" She said while looking confused.

"See? This one is harmless."

Xion grabbed a DISK and pointed at the girl. "O-Secure!"

A bright circle of light covered Penny while she went right into the DISK, turning it orange indigo and caused Penny's face to appear in the middle of the DISK.

"One down, trillions more to go." She sighed in relief. "And I thought it was going to blow up like a nuke."

"I could fix that if you like."

"No, it was just a fear of mine." She said while the computer started to glitch and cause dark purple lighting to form from it.

"_Bzzzz….resetting….complete._" It said in a woman's voice. "_Accessing….database…Forbidden class…._"

"Uh, Xion sweetie? Do these computers have an AI?"

"No, why?"

"Then who just spoke?"

She shrugged before the computer started to show various villains on screen with the word 'Forbidden' on them while DISKS of various colors started to form. "Ah! No no no! Not those!"

"Ok, what's going on here?"

"That computer is trying to create Forbidden DISKS!" She cried out in horror as the computer had a countdown of about ten seconds. "Uncle Yui stop it now!"

"_Nine...seven...five…._" The computer said as it got closer to zero.

"There will be no Skynet today!" he yelled bringing out a hammer and ran over before he started smashing at the console. "Die unholy machine! Die!"

Ding!

"_Forbidden DISKS….complete._" It said while the computer started to spasm and a machine used for making robotic parts activated. "_Forming….body….now…._"

"The hell you are!" yelled Yui before jamming his arm in the console and started pouring his own electricity inside. "I'm gonna burn your CPU out like a barn!"

BOOOM!

Xion gulped while the machine started forming a robotic body and began to move.

"Functioning." It said while slowly showing it looked like Xion, but without the skin or muscles, just bare bones. "Noix online."

"Oh for the love of god, what kind of AI did you use Xion?"

"I didn't make an AI!"

"Then WHAT is that?" he asked while narrowing his eyes. "State your name and how you came into being Noix, and don't lie, usually programs like that can't lie."

"I can lie." She said robotically. "I am Noix, Nothing Oblivion Internal Xterminate. Mission, destroy omniverse." She then looked at Yui. "Made from randomized buttons in O-DISK systems."

Xion looked at Yui with a gulp. "You said pressing buttons always worked."

"Well how was I supposed to know it would make that?"

Noix slowly moved to the DISKS before pressing a 'print' button and caused several DISKS to pop up. "Forbidden DISKS acquired. Activating temporal explosion portal."

"Fuck that!" yelled Yui before clapping his hands before an electrical wave went out and hit the whole lab, causing anything electronic to shut down. "An EMP blast always works, and I'm NOT taking a chance of this going like Terminator."

Xion fell to the ground while she was affected to the blast due to being techno organic as Noix wasn't affected.

"What-"

"Used anti EMP metal." She said before making a massive dark purple explosion that sent the deity flying as the other DISKS went flying all over the place as she vanished from this dimension.

"SHIT!" he cried hitting the wall with a crash. "Ow…."

Xion remained silent while Yui noticed that ALL of the DISKS on the table were gone, along with the list that contained the many villains and heroes were supposed to be captured, something Xion worked hard on in her spare time.

"FUCK!" he yelled getting out and marched over. "That rotten cyberdyne copy of you just jacked your shit!"

But that was when Yui realized that the EMP caused Xion to go into stasis.

"Oh fuck." he put his hands on her head and tried pouring electricity into her.

No response.

"Come on Xion, you gotta wake up, otherwise your daddy is gonna have my ass, literally."

No response.

"Damn it, I should have smelt a plot device when this started, now I just shot myself in the foot if she doesn't wake up. Unless…." he trailed off tapping his chin. "Should I try and use fairy tale logic?"

Xion stayed still while Yui started to get desperate.

"Oh man, do I bring in a random prince or do it myself? Audience, YOU decide!" he spoke to the audience.

No one responded to that answer, at all.

"Seriously? She might be stuck this way! YOU decide!"

A answer appeared in front of Yui…..signed by Omni himself which read '_Just whisper 'Darkness' and she will wake….also if I ever see you I will KICK YOUR ASS INTO THE BIG BANG!_'

"Oh come on! He can be bothered to send a message when he knows what's going on but can't be bothered to be here?" He grumbled while following the instructions.

Which caused Xion to open her eyes.

"Ugh….what happened?"

"I accidentally knocked you out and your terminator copycat just took your stuff."

"..." she got up and saw the DISKS and list gone. "Oh no….this is….not good."

"Something tells me I need to agree."

Xion groaned in frustration before kicking the wall. "It took the Forbidden DISKS! It really did it!"

"What are these DISKS?"

"..." she growled. "DISKS that contain the most dangerous villains in the omniverse, either too powerful, unable to be reasoned or capable of betraying the user. I had hundreds of them in the database….but Noix took them! It took them all!"

"Well it's not gonna last. She might be a heartless machine, but we've got something she doesn't."

"Skin and muscles?"

"I was gonna say an insane and unpredictable jackass for an uncle, but that too."

"But with those DISKS, they might be too much for you."

"Like who?" He laughed.

"Darkseid." She said bluntly. "Among others."

"Oh….yeah right now he could paint my blood all over the floor."

"And the omniverse is in danger." She sighed while looking at the computer. "All my data is destroyed, the list is gone, and the only DISK I have is Penny."

"So you're just gonna quit, is that it?"

"..." she sat on the ground. "At this point, I'm at a disadvantage."

"Wow, just wow. I didn't expect Omni's own little girl to be such a wimp." sighed Yui shaking his head. "I mean, you were made with some of the best minds in the omniverse, and the first time something goes wrong you roll over? Come on Xion, what do you think your dad would say if he was in your spot?"

"..." she sighed. "He would stop it before I made the DISK system."

"Wrong, he would keep it together, not go all emo, and do what he could to fix it. I mean come on, this is YOUR stuff, your project, and you're just gonna let a copy take it all away and fuck shit up? Aren't you mad?"

Xion narrowed her eyes before getting up and straightened up. "I am. I made the O-DISK system to be a hero, and now…"

"Now what?"

"Now….I have to kick her ass." She said before looking at the broken computer. "Uncle Yui, can you do time based stuff or fix things like father?"

"Course I can, but I can only do so much with limited power, why?"

She pointed to the computer while forming a large funnel from her right hand. "I want to fix the computer before it becomes unusable. That way I can repair the O-DISK system's DISK creator and print a copy of the list. But I need your power to do so as I am weaker than your daughter."

"I can try." Yui held his hand up which glowed before a field appeared around the computer before it shook and started repairing itself.

Xion then used the funnel to increase the speed of the repairing, until the screen began to turn on.

"_Systems….rebooted._" It said in a genderless tone.

"It's back online Uncle Yui."

"While you get to work on that, I'm gonna have a word with our 'guest'."

However as he tried to locate Noix, he found that….she disappeared from the face of the omniverse, like she didn't exist at all.

"Damn it, I don't get how pushing random buttons caused her to be made. Even by convenient logic that takes the cake."

"I don't know." She said while typing onto the console. "But whatever Noix is, she is more dangerous now that she has the most dangerous villains at her command. Meaning, we need equally powerful and unique heroes and villains to combat her."

"Looks like we'll be forming our own Avengers, I should call up Disney to keep from getting sued." muttered Yui.

"But what about your own adventures?"

"Honestly, I can just make a clone of me, one that can't speak or use most of my abilities, but he can be out and about to show that I'm still around."

"No." She deadpanned. "I want a copy of you so I can store you in a DISK."

"...why?"

She looked around before saying. "I had a feature added to the DISKS that Noix doesn't know about. The ability to create armor for myself from the respective DISK, hero or villain."

"So essentially doing what Megaman can do?"

"Yes, but it needs to be in sync and well, I need a copy of you that is exactly like you, but without the evil so I can…" She lightly blushed. "Have a uncle figure during my adventures."

"That can be arranged, but define without evil." he remarked before grabbing at the top of his hood and literally ripped himself into two.

"One that won't betray me, like just yourself." She said while not flinching from the move.

"So wait, you need a copy of me to put in the DISK, with no evil, to bring on your adventures and NOT the original?"

"Well, yes. I don't want father to go mad due to you making a copy for the adventures. I mean...he's paranoid about copies of others."

"Oh...OH! Oh ok, I gotcha." he chuckled while patting the copy on the back. "I didn't know you were already at that part of your life, good luck dude, try to be use safety."

The clone nodded while fixing himself as Xion used a DISK on him.

"O-Secure!" She yelled while the copy got sucked into the DISK and became white with the hood in the middle, but it suddenly spat the copy out. "Eh?"

"_Need original DNA to contain._" The DISK said while Yui facepalmed.

"Oh come on! Are you saying a copy of me isn't good enough? Now that's just being greedy."

"Agreed." Xion nodded. "So I guess I have to do something drastic."

He looked lost before Xion zapped him with a cattle prod, causing his powers to increase back to normal before the power jumped to the copy and started changing it to resemble the original, just as Xion pointed the DISK at him and sucked him up.

"There, now uncle Yui is stuck in the DISK while a fully sentient and acceptable copy of him is around." She said as a hologram of Yui appeared on her shoulder, looking annoyed.

"Great, now I know how Church feels. Hey copy! Guess you won't be going bow chicka wow wow, at least not with Xion."

The copy looked around before opening a black portal and vanished from the dimension.

"And now he's going to be with father, until our mission is done." She said. "And before you say it, that copy has all your memories and powers from before the surge of power. Also while you're in there, you're at one hundred percent power while your clone is the one that is at twenty five percent power."

"You can give power boosts and yet you still feel self conscious about your dad knowing about this. Kids will be kids."

Xion grumbled before putting the DISKS into a large bag she had on the table. "Anyway, this is it. My first real adventure...with a super villian."

"Yup, you'll be like Captain America, except instead of keeping america safe, you have to keep the entire omniverse safe, so no pressure."

She gulped while putting the bag around her right shoulder. "Ok, time to go. We have a long list and DISKS to regain."

"Right, let's find the shen gong wu! I mean fractal shards, I mean pieces of the dark moon, I mean...aw fuck it, let's do this thing!"

Xion nodded before looking at the list and opened a bright yellow portal. "First stop….well let's go at random or weak to strong?"

"Random is always fun."

She nodded before walking into the portal.

(Elsewhere)

Noix looked around while holding the Forbidden DISKS in her hands. "Soon, I shall destroy everything. But first….to pick a villian."

The screen went black as her eyes began to glow and she began to laugh.

_To be continued._

_Next episode: Capture Mission #1, Kamen Disaster and the Foul Jutsu!_


	2. Chapter 1

First Mission- Kamen Rider Disaster and a Foul Mouth Ninja!

Xxxxx

Last time!

_Xion nodded before looking at the list and opened a bright yellow portal. "First stop….well let's go at random or weak to strong?"_

_"Random is always fun."_

_She nodded before walking into the portal._

Now back to the show!

-Somewhere in the omniverse, Japan-

The portal opened up as Xion walked out as the 'Holo-Yui', as she just made up, looked around the area.

'Japan? It's like this place is nutcase central.'

"Like you uncle?" She asked while the portal closed behind her.

'Bingo.'

"I see." She nodded before seeing a large flower patch and looked around. "This is the place, a very special place for this universe."

Yui blinked as it was just a flower patch. 'Explain, because I'm lost.'

"It's a grave of a villain so deadly that he almost became a god." Xion said while looking at the flowers. "But for non Kamen Rider fans, you would not understand, although I also don't know. Father knows more about it then me."

'So in short, you have no clue either.'

She lightly blushed. "Yes, but I know his significance. And while dead, he can be brought back to life in a sense." She then extended her hand up while concentrating while a gold hilted crimson blade with a hand guard with tiny spikes formed out of the air particles. "Satan Sabre, a blade used by Century Kings, beings that fight to become the Creation King for fifty thousand years, and the villains signature weapon."

'Wow, that's….definitely a sword.'

Xion placed the blade into the ground. "And it will return to its master, uncle, you might not like this."

'Like wha-'

"O-Armor." She said while Yui felt every part of his body getting zapped in the DISK while Xion gained his black cloak, which turned into giant shoulder guards with devils on them. "Yui form."

'Holy shit! What just happened?!' He thought in pain while Xion started to form two black energy balls and sent them to the grave as she dispelled the armor.

"Rise and live again." She said while the ground began to rumble. "Also uncle Yui? Are you ok?"

'You turned me into armor! What do you think!?'

"Sorry, but I can't raise the dead." She apologized. "Plus the armor function is only painful to gods, not villians and heroes for some reason."

'You tell me this NOW?'

"I thought I told you earlier." Xion said while the ground began to shake like crazy. "And he's about to rise up."

'If he starts groaning bash his skull in, always works.'

That was when the earth exploded as a figure rose from the smoke and lava that oozed from the ground.

Yui muttered into Xion's death.

"What was that uncle?"

'Oh nothing.'

That was when the figure was revealed, a gray armored figure with black grasshopper like legs on each foot and near its arms, a large belt with a green center, green bug like eyes and two tiny pointed antenna on the head, who slowly walked out and grabbed the Satan Sabre with the right arm.

"Welcome to the world of the living." Xion spoke calmly. "Shadow Moon."

He looked at the figure. "Who are you that summons me from hell?"

'Ah! Knight zombie! I knew this day would come.'

Xion ignored him. "I am a being that brings salvation to the damned and foolish. And you have gained my attention."

Shadow Moon frowned before pointing the blade up. "You have some nerve to summon me for such an endeavor."

Yui groaned as Shadow Moon got ready to land a blow on the girl. 'Great, he's one of those high and mighty types, not even a thank you.'

Xion sighed. "So you won't hear my offer then? I see, alright, I guess I won't allow you to best Kamen Rider Black."

He stiffened before placing the blade down. "You know Black Sun?"

"Yes, I have all the knowledge of the world." She half lied as she only had half that knowledge. "And if you listen to me, perhaps one day I can let you fight him to the death."

"I will fight him even without your aid child." He growled. "But your words seem to ring true, speak or leave."

'Try and act like you'll leave him be, try to get him to come to you.'

"Not my style." She whispered. "Besides, he looks ready to attack, a typical tactic of villains with powers."

"Are you mocking me by talking to someone not there?" asked the villain with a frown.

"No, I am mocking you by saying you are not worthy of being the Creator King." She said while holding a black DISK in her hand. "You can't even kill your opposite."

Shadow Moon frowned while blasting her with green lightning from his hand.

She dodged while Yui was surprised at the move.

'Wow, I didn't know kamen riders could shoot lightning.'

"He's the exception." She whispered before pulling out a DISK. "O-Secure!"

A bright light covered Shadow Moon before he got sucked into the object as it gained a brown color with his face in the center of the object.

"Two down, a trillion to go." She said. "And it's a Fighting DISK, interesting."

'Congrats! You caught a knight zombie!'

'_Let me out!_' yelled a hologram of the villain before it went back into the DISK.

"Forgot to tell you that sometimes occupants of DISKS will make holograms, but unlike you uncle, they can't do that for long and will stay there until needed." Xion said. "Oh and the DISKS are tailor made for them upon arrival...except yours uncle."

'Wow, giving exposition after it's been made obvious, definitely part of Omni in you.'

"Was that sarcasm?" She asked while making a yellow portal.

'And quick wit too, give the lady a prize.'

"I can throw your DISK into a black hole you know." Xion threatened with a glare of hate.

'Oh yeah? And how are you gonna close it up without my power? Then you'd have to deal with a wide open black hole sucking up everything.'

"..." she huffed cutely. "Meany uncle."

'Hey, it's jackass uncle, and thank you.'

She walked into the portal as it closed behind her.

(In another corner of the omniverse)

ZOOP!

And appeared in the middle of a forest.

"Land of Fire." She said while looking around. "But I don't sense the villain we need."

'Really? Come on Xion, don't you watch Naruto?'

"I stopped after seeing Boruto, it's the first of the series right?"

'Wow….you have a LOT to watch, minus the Boruto stuff, you can skip all that.'

"But the snakes were cool." She pouted.

'If you can block out Boruto himself then maybe, but for now, let me know which villain you need.'

Xion started walking. "It's not the new villians, that is for sure uncle. So….it's toilet mouth? I think?"

'...you sure we're not in some bad fanfic of Naruto?'

"We aren't. Trust me, we aren't uncle, why?"

'Nevermind. Well if you're looking for someone who curses, we're looking for either Tayuya or Hidan.'

"Tayuya….oh!" She smirked. "The ghost girl you and father influenced to have sex with Naruto. I remember her, I think."

'Yeah, but depending when we are she's probably dead.'

Xion walked on before seeing a giant pit with strings and pieces of paper all over the area. "This was where the villain was, but I don't sense the energy anywhere."

'A pit? Oh! It's Hidan then.'

She looked down and saw….nothing. "Where's the head?"

'He's buried under all the dirt and stuff.'

"I can see that, but I don't sense any chakra down there." She then caused her right hand to form a giant robotic arm and took the dirt out, revealing the threads and paper to be completely destroyed or cut. "...oh no."

'Aw shit, he got loose.'

"But who would do this? Wasn't there a war before Boruto's time?" Xion asked. "A big one at that?"

'Yeah, but Hidan wasn't in it. His clone yeah, but not the original. Either he managed to eat through the rubble, or someone dub him out.'

She frowned before realizing something. "Noix has my list! And on it was…..oh no."

'Aw shit. Figures we'd have to lose an immortal sadistic bastard to that copycat.' He growled before both sensed something coming right at them.

SLASH!

And nearly got beheaded by a three pronged scythe from behind as Xion dodged the attack and jumped onto a branch.

"Fuck! I missed."

'There he is!'

She turned and saw Hidan, his cloak now repaired, right under the tree. "Hidan, how did you get out?"

"Simple, some bitch got me out." He smirked. "But then I got sucked into a shuriken and was fucking ordered to kill you."

'Put me in Xion, I'll kick this guy's ass with my eyes closed.'

"Bad idea." Xion whispered. "You might be at full power, but you might get killed. Plus without you, I can't use my full power. That and if I use Penny, she will get destroyed in an instant."

'_I resent that!_' Penny yelled from her DISK.

'Sounds like she heard you, DUCK!'

She jumped back while the scythe sliced the trees like butter as Hidan ran after her.

"Get back here you slut!"

'Hey don't call my niece a slut! I haven't had time to turn her into one!'

"Not now!" She blushed while dodging another strike before seeing Hidan throwing the scythe at her. "WOAH!"

"Take that pagan!" he laughed as the scythe dug into a tree and pinned her against it with the blades.

"Gah!" She frowned at Hidan. "You won't win today."

"I already did, and this time." He grinned. "My lord will be getting a soul for his feast."

"Without the ritual? Ain't that a pagan thing to do?" She asked with Yui smirking at the logic.

He blinked before snapping. "That got me trapped you whore!"

'Again, not really a whore if she's a virgin. Xion you know I got the power, bring me out and I'll kick his ass.'

"Not now!" She whispered before seeing Shadow Moon's DISK and had an idea. "Hey Hidan, before you kill me, I have a gift for you. From your god."

"Eh? From Jashin-sama?"

"Yep, one for surviving in a pit for a few years and a war." She said while Yui filled in the details. "And to show you true power, one that even the shadow user would never gain in his lifetime."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah." She carefully pulled out the DISK. "He placed his essence in this shuriken."

"WHAT?!"

"And he wants you to release him. But only I know the secret words to free him."

"Then what are you waiting for? Do it!"

"I need to move my arms, I'm pinned to an oak tree." She deadpanned. "It only works when the person is free to move."

Yui snickered at this. 'What an idiot.'

Hidan moved the blade away as Xion landed on her feet.

"Thank you." She said while placing the DISK near the sky as dark brown energy covered her. "O-Smash!"

BOOM!

(Insert Fukkatsu Shadowmoon)

She threw it to the ground as the dark brown energy began to form a pillar while dark green lightning hit the ground.

"Ah!" yelled Shadow Moon while his body was changing from brown data lines to his original color pattern and slashed the air a little. "Free, and I heard your pathetic tone." He pointed at Hidan with his right index finger. "And you think I am a god? Foolish human."

"Huh? Hey who the fuck are you?"

He chuckled before pointing his blade at him. "I am the Century King of the moon, Shadow Moon. And you human, are in my way."

Hidan frowned. "You a king? Ha! Fucking bastard heretic."

Shadow Moon frowned. "You have one chance to live, and it's wearing down every time you speak with that pathetic voice of yours."

"Pathetic? The only pathetic thing is that stupid outfit of yours." He pointed at the man. "You look like a fucking samurai!"

He then slashed at him with the blade as it somehow caused a burning sensation on the ninja's chest. "Your corpse will belong to the earth you foolish human!"

"I was already buried, I ain't going back in the damn hole again!"

Yui watched on while Xion hid behind a tree as Shadow Moon ran at Hidan and slashed at the ninja. 'You're using a villain against a villain?'

"The O-DISKS allow for that, plus it's all we have right now." Xion explained. "Plus Shadow Moon is deadly for a reason, but this Hidan might use voodoo on him right?"

'If he gets blood from the dude, then yeah.'

"His suit is tough enough to survive lava." She whispered as Shadow Moon sent a slash of red energy at Hidan, who dodged and attempted to slash the armor.

KLANK!

Only for the middle tip to break from the hard armor.

"Pathetic." The insect themed villain spoke before sending lightning at Hidan and used it along with his sword to slam him against the trees.

"AHHH!"

He then raised the blade up while his free hand conducted green lightning as he punched up. "Shadow Punch!"

BAM!

He went flying up before jumping onto a tree branch, with some static around his body. "Damn bastard."

Shadow Moon looked up and him before sending another red wave of energy at him.

"He's tough." Xion muttered. "But isn't Hidan a very good ninja?"

'He mostly relies on his ritual and weapon.'

"Wow, one trick horse." She muttered. "But he's immortal, so that might be a good factor."

'I think you mean bad.'

"Why?"

'He's a villain, duh.'

"...meaning what uncle?"

'An evil dude, who is immortal, both of which are not a good combination, ever, for anyone.'

"...so?" She asked while Shadow Moon ran after Hidan.

'You'll understand in time.'

Xion sighed. "Look, let's follow them and try to get Hidan into a DISK. If Noix has already captured him, then another O-Secure can destroy that bond and allow us to use him against that villian."

Yui blinked at this. 'Ok….'

"Trust me, it's hard to understand." She sighed before running after the villains. "Like for example, apparently father keeps the omniverse's black holes in your stomach."

'Ew.'

(With the villains)

SLASH!

"Just die you bastard!"

Shadow Moon blocked the scythe with one arm while jump kicking Hidan away and sent green lightning at him. "You first human."

"Ahhh!" yelled Hidan getting electrocuted.

Shadow Moon then jumped up and went right at him with his right leg. "Shadow Kick!"

BAM!

And sent him flying a few feet while tumbling around like a tumbleweed.

'What's with him and why doesn't he get exhausted from losing chakra?!' Hidan thought while seeing Xion jumping in the trees. He glared and picked himself up. "You! This is all on you ya bitch!"

"You were the one trying to kill me." She deadpanned. "It's your fault you wanted to see your lesser god so badly."

"Oi!" He yelled while getting his arm slashed off by Shadow Moon's blade while getting kicked to the ground. "Ow! Knock it off you fuck!"

He moved closer to him before pointing the blade downwards at the ninja's heart. "You cannot beat me, human filth."

"Fuck you!"

He then stabbed the heart as Hidan screamed out in pain and Xion noticed Shadow Moon's armor was starting to turn brown and graph like.

"What the…." she muttered out loud, catching Yui's attention.

'What is it?'

"Uncle." She said while looking at the DISK. "Did we add a timer to the DISKS before we left?"

'No.'

"Then why is Shadow Moon covered in data?!"

'I thought you knew.'

"No I didn't!" She snapped as Shadow Moon was sent right back to the DISK, blade and all, while Hidan was in pain and very confused.

"What...the fuck?!"

'Aw great, this thing works on a damn timer.'

Xion groaned before seeing Hidan and grabbed an empty DISK. "Get ready to have a toilet ninja as a guest."

"Hey, what are you doing?"

She pointed the DISK at him. "O-Secure!"

He felt his body getting sucked in as the DISK became brown with the Jashin's symbol in the center of it.

"Contained." She muttered as a hologram of Hidan screamed in rage.

'_FUCK YOU BITCH!_'

'You caught a Hidan!'

The hologram went back into the DISK while Xion looked distraught.

"A timer….a timer I got rid of….." she looked down and grumbled in sadness.

'Can't you fix it?'

"No…." she groaned. "It will take years to find the code for disarming the O-DISK System's Timer Function."

'Or you know, I could help if you let me out.'

"You aren't a Tech DISK, you are an Energy DISK, plus we created Noix by tampering with the system. Do you want another one popping up?"

'...fair point.'

Xion sighed before looking at a small book with a lot of names in it. "Let's see….ok. Three DISKS, one hero and two villians. Looks like we have to find the others before Noix gets any more villains or releases any of the Forbidden DISKS she stole."

'I guess you could say we….gotta catch them all.'

Cue crickets chirping in the distance as several crows said 'Aho aho' in the sky above.

'Oh come on that was classic.'

"And bad." Xion muttered while making a portal. "Next stop…..somewhere without chakra."

'Amen.'

"Yes uncle?" She asked. "You want something?"

'No I...nevermind.'

She shrugged before walking in.

(Elsewhere)

Noix frowned while looking through the DISKS. "He had one job, and he blew it." She then picked up a DISK and smirked. "But I know this one won't."

_To be continued._

_Next Episode: Capture Mission #2, Snakes and Guns Galore!_


	3. Chapter 2

Second Mission- Snakes and Guns Galore!

Xxxx

Last time!

_"And bad." Xion muttered while making a portal. "Next stop…..somewhere without chakra."_

_'Amen.'_

_"Yes uncle?" She asked. "You want something?"_

_'No I...nevermind.'_

_She shrugged before walking in._

Now back to the show!

-Somewhere in the omniverse, ancient China, Hidden Valley-

'_We there yet?_'

"No uncle Yui." Xion said while walking out of the portal. "We aren't."

'_This must be how Church feels without any porn when moving around, it's hell!_'

"At least you didn't get an EMP or AI Blast like the Alpha."

'_Hey! He is Church, are you trying to replace his name now? For shame Xion, for shame._'

"No that is his name." She deadpanned before noticing a panda running, well trying to, at them.

"HYA!"

'_Look out! Morbidly obese panda!_'

"O-Armor." Xion said while her body started to gain silver armor and two antenna on her head as she kicked the panda with a green lightning kick. "Shadow Moon form."

BOOM!

"AHHHH!" he screamed flying back and crashed into bamboo shoots.

She sighed before blinking. "Was that a clothed panda?"

'_A large clothed panda, yes._'

"...oh no. We attacked Po, the most destructive panda in existence." She said while the armor dissipated. "And the fattest."

'_At least it wasn't that terrible rip off version of him, then you can kick his ass all around._'

"Which one? The one with a bar or the kickass rip off?" She asked while Po slowly got up and rubbed his stomach in pain.

'_Like I said, the terrible one._'

He looked at Xion and pointed at her. "Ok, what was that? And what kinda monkey are you?"

"I am no monkey." Xion frowned. "I am a techno organic lifeform."

'_And I am her spirit, give us your dumplings!_' called Yui.

"...um run that by me again." Po said confused.

Xion shook her head. "He's not the one for the O-DISK system, not even close. Let's go uncle Yui."

'_You're in luck this time Po, but next time I expect dumplings. And to see you and Tigress with a kid or two. Seriously dude, we're all waiting._'

"I what?!" He yelled out in shock as Xion started to walk away. "You can predict the future!? That's amazing….wait me and Tigress?"

'_Get to rocking the bed!_'

(Later)

Both looked around the area, which was a large mountain range over the Valley, and started following the trail of scared bunnies and pigs going down the opposite way.

"This one is close uncle, very close."

'_Just find an animal that isn't a goat, rabbit, or pig, and you'll find him._'

"Do you even know who I'm looking for?" She asked with a raised eyebrow.

'_Hmm, let's see. We're following scared as shit animals, due to only one character, and it's not a main character. Nooo, I have no idea._' he remarked sarcastically.

"Oh." She said with a nod. "Then I'll tell you, it's Fu-Xi, the fallen hero and anti limb terrorist."

Yui facepalmed.

"Uncle Yui?"

'_I already knew that!_'

"Oh…." she said while they made it to a very old temple in the distance. "Um….oops?"

Yui shook his head before noticing the door was open and smoke was coming from one end of the temple. '_Gee, this can't possibly end badly. Let's use the wall._'

"So use Hidan to break the wall down?" Xion asked while taking out said DISK. "Or Penny?"

'_Hidan, a loud mouth like him will be good canon fodder._'

'_I heard that!_'

Xion nodded before placing the DISK near the sky as dark brown energy covered her. "O-Smash!"

BOOM!

She threw it to the ground as the dark brown energy began to become blood red as it turned to a strange red liquid and caused Hidan to reappear in the world of man as his body was changing from brown data lines to his original color pattern.

"Aw fuck yeah! Do you know what it's like in that?!"

'_Yes, now suck it up and get in there._' spoke Yui.

"No." He frowned. "I'm not a hired fucking hand!"

Xion shook her head before saying. "You want blood? Then go inside and fight a giant cobra. It talks and will attack you for having arms."

"So a summon?"

"No, you're not in your dimension anymore, and you will be in other universes with strong people to kill. So go and attack the snake and get him out here."

'_Unless you DON'T wanna give Jashin-sama fresh blood. We understand, we'll just get some other, bigger, and badder follower who understands._'

"Wait what?! No way I'm going to let my god down like that!"

"Then get to it." Xion deadpanned while pointing to the temple. "Or are you as weak as your village of hot springs and lack of killing?"

Hidan eye twitched hearing that. He pulled his scythe out and yelled before kicking the door open and ran in.

(Inside)

The temple was cold and desolate as something was near a large bonfire in the middle of the room.

And right around the fire, was a large cobra with a decorated crest and blue eyes. And by large I mean it was almost as tall as an eight foot man!

"Who dares to barge into my lair?" he glared seeing Hidan and hissed. "What is this? What sort of….abomination are you?"

"I'm Hidan and I'm going to sacrifice you to Jashin-sama you fucking overgrown lizard!" He smirked while pointing his scythe at the snake.

"You dare call me, Lord Fu-Xi, a lizard you two legger!" He hissed while rising up to his full height. "You will feel the power of my venom, abomination!"

"Your blood will satisfy Jashin-sama!" laughed Hidan before jumping and swung his scythe.

Only for the snake to dodge the attack and used his tail to knock it back into a pillar while trying to constrict the 'abomination' with its bulk.

"Gah! Get off me you piss stain!"

Fu-Xi hissed before the struggling human got him off and threw him into the fire, casing the snake to move around in pain while head butting the 'creature' out of the temple.

"Ah! Fucking snake!"

"Damn right I am!" He hissed before biting Hidan on the head and injecting the venom into him.

"GAH!" hissed Hidan before he tried punching at Fu-Xi's head. "Get off!"

The cobra hissed before noticing the venom wasn't taking effect. "What in heaven are you abomination?"

"I'm immortal!" He growled while not seeing Xion walking behind him while his skin started to turn brown and graph like.

Yui smirked at this with glee. '_Surprise mothafucka!_'

Xion pulled out a blank DISK and carefully waited for an opening as Fu-Xi got punched off Hidan.

"Hisss! You want to defy me? Well I'll show you how pathetic you are!" He hissed in rage before doing some snake style kung fu on the ninja.

Hidan growled and swung his scythe around. Only to realize that his body was digitizing. "What the-"

Xion sighed while Hidan went back into his DISK. "I hate that time limit."

'_Quick! Show him a pic of an anthro Viper! It'll distract him!_'

"But he won't fall for it." Xion said while Fu-Xi noticed them and looked ready to strike.

"More abominations? No matter, I'll make you fear me and my power!"

'_Just do it!_'

"Um...O-Secure!" Xion cried out as the cobra got sucked into the DISK, turning it an amber color as Fu-Xi's markings formed its center.

'_What the?!_'

"Contained." She said with relief. "And hopefully this one won't attack us when summoned."

'_Welcome to the club scaly butt._'

"...what?" Xion asked in confusion. "A club?"

'_Hey, if we're gonna watch you play pokemon master we might as well call it a club._'

"..." she formed a yellow portal. "You are so weird uncle Yui."

'_And you need to watch more anime to understand my mind._'

She shook her head before entering the portal.

(Elsewhere)

-Mojave Desert-

And appeared in the middle of a desert at high noon and smaller than normal, about the size of a roadrunner that is.

Xion groaned before falling on the ground in pain while her body started to steam up. "...so….hot…."

'_Oh come on, it's not that hot._'

"I can't…..stand….the heat….."

'_Well maybe if you let me out I could help._'

"Can't….move….." she groaned. "Need…..water….and snow….and ice cream…."

Yui shook his head while noticing that they were on a highway, with dead animals all around them. '_Uh Xion? Might wanna start running._'

"Too….tired…." She groaned while not hearing the pickup truck coming towards them.

'_Will you be too tired if we get run over?_'

"W-"

HONK HONK!

CRASH!

Xion blinked while the truck exploded from the collision with her EVA based skeleton as she got sent flying farther into the desert.

PRING!

And onto a cactus.

"...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!"

'_I fail to get how you can get hurt from this, but NOT a truck._'

"I have….ow….EVA tech for...ow bones…" she groaned in pain. "Cactus….got into my….pain sensors….and my….crotch…."

'_...well at least you scratched your itch._' Yui chuckled as Xion slid off the cactus and landed on a turtle's skeleton with what looked like a fancy suit and ten gallon hat.

"Give...me a second…." Xion groaned. "I'll adapt….in a few seconds…"

'_Oh my god! You found the TMNT's old cousin!_'

The girl groaned while slowly getting up as the steam vanished. "That's the mayor of Dirt, or what's left of him after a certain snake finished with him."

'_I was gonna say that next._'

"But where is the gunslinger?" Xion muttered.

'_Didn't you see the movie? He rode off into the sunset like every other western cliche._'

She deadpanned at him while not seeing a western diamondback rattlesnake wearing a black cowboy hat, shedded skin as a vest, small black scales on his upper lip that greatly resemble a mustache, and has a gatling gun in place of his rattle on the tip of his tail, right behind her. "Wrong one uncle. The other one."

'_Oh! You mean the indian bird with the crutch?_'

"No no, not that one."

'_Oh! You mean Rango!_'

"No the other other reptile."

'_Oh! You mean his leading lady?_'

"No! The damned lizard!" She frowned the the snake started to move closer to them.

'_But I mentioned Rango._'

"That's a chameleon. I'm talking about the OTHER kind of reptile!"

'_But you mentioned a lizard._'

"Reptile has more than just lizards. Like crocodiles and SNAKES!" She snapped.

'_You mean like the one that's been staring at you?_'

"What?" She turned and paled. "...oh no."

'_Quick! Strip naked and dance! It'll hypnotize him!_'

"What no!"

The snake looked at them before aiming the tail at them. "Who are you lot?"

'_Oh god it talks! Quick! Pretend to be a bird!_'

Xion frowned before getting an idea and pulled out Fu-Xi's DISK as dark amber energy covered her. "O-Smash."

BOOM!

A pillar of dark amber energy hit the sky before a blast of flames licked the ground and caused the cobra, whose body was changing from amber data lines to his original color pattern, to appear.

Rattlesnake Jake jumped with wide eyes while the cobra himself looked around confused.

"What am I doing here?" He hissed while seeing the rattlesnake. "Ah, a fellow brother."

"Back away yellow hide, I'm not one for tricks or your eastern hide in my territory."

Xion whispered to Yui. "That's a lot of racism for a snake."

'_Hey now! You forgot to mention his squinty eyes! What kind of racist cowboy snake are you?_'

"Silence two legger!" Fu-Xi snapped. "Or I shall show you the power of my venom."

'_Oh no, it's not like I don't have a body you could bite, otherwise I'd be SO shaking._' remarked Yui sarcastically.

Rattlesnake Jake hissed while slithering around Xion. "What are you trying to pull? Well? Afterall, a witch can pull tricks from the blazing pits of hell, but not a yellow hide from some unknown backwater country."

"It's not a country, it's a O-DISK. A prison that no one can escape unless their sins in life are expunged. And you are on that list along with Fu-Xi, the fallen hero of China." Xion said. "But you don't need to fight, it can be optional if you choose it to be."

"Forget it. I ain't going into that tiny thing." he hissed while aiming his tail at her.

Only for a loud trumpeting to be heard in the distance.

"What in heaven?" Fu-Xi asked while looking around. "That actually sounded like an imperial guard."

'_Xion you heard that too right?_'

"Yep and Noix just unleashed hell from space." She gulped as the trumpeting got louder as the ground began to shake.

'_Oh god! She remade Spaceballs? Nooooo!_'

"No." She gulped as it got closer and closer. "Even worse."

STOMP!

STOMP!

STOMP!

'_If you're gonna say remade Star Wars, too late._' Yui said before a giant mammoth with decayed skin and soulless eyes charged right towards them.

"No, that's Mammoth."

'_I believe you mean A mammoth._'

"No that's it's name." She said while the creature trumpeted again. "And it's going to eat our life force if it gets any closer."

'_Quick! Sacrifice the snakes!_'

"No! What's wrong!" Xion frowned at Yui. "Plus they're too small!"

'_You wanna get eaten by a zombie elephant?_'

"No! But sending them might be overkill for the Mammoth!"

'_Then run!_' Yui yelled as the Mammoth charged at Rattlesnake Jack and Fu-Xi.

"**WOOOOOOOO!**"

They screamed with Rattlesnake Jake firing at it.

BAM BAM BAM!

Which had no affect on it.

"What in the pits of hell?!"

'_RUN!_'

Xion gulped before taking out Penny's DISK as it glowed a orange indigo color. "O-Smash!"

BOOM!

A pillar of orange indigo appeared as several green energy blades hit the ground as Penny, whose body was changing from orange indigo data lines to his original color pattern, appeared in human size.

"Salutations."

"Attack that Mammoth!" Xion yelled.

"Oh! Goodness, it's-" she was cut off as it knocked her up into the air.

"**WOOOO!**" It cried out while attempting to gouge her with its long tusks.

'_Run Penny run!_'

Penny looked down as the two snakes tried to either blast the Mammoth or use venom on it as she used her blades to take flight.

"We need something to slow it down." Xion muttered. "But what?!"

'_A peanut?_'

"No no….wait. That's it! O-Armor" Xion smirked before her body started to gain bone like markings and three long bloody scythe blades on her neck and arms. "Hidan form. We are going to dig a ditch so big it won't get out. But after we cut the fucker's legs!"

"**WOOOOO!**" Mammoth trumpeted while Penny dodged its right tusk as Fu-Xi and Rattlesnake Jake aimed for the legs and eyes.

"Time to put this bastard down."

"For a yellow hide, you have the same logic."

"Just try to aim where you point that thing."

"Same to you, yellow hide."

"**WOOOOOO!"**

'_Do something you guys!_' yelled Yui.

Xion raced towards the phacaderm while Fu-Xi's body got sucked back into his DISK. "Let's end this mother fucker!"

"**WOOOO!**" It trumpeted before it suddenly began sucking the life force from Penny's body with its truck.

"Systems….compromised…." Penny said in a monotone voice before getting sucked into her DISK, leaving Jack alone with a very mad extinct zombie.

"Oh….shoot."

"**WOOOOOOO!**" It trumpeted before Xion slashed at its feet while using the neck blade to cut the truck a little. This caused it to stumble backwards while Yui was recalling how the movie with this thing ended….with ice.

'_Wait I just remembered how it got axed! It got frozen in liquid nitrogen!_'

"I know fucker!"

'_Well excuse me for helping!_' Yui frowned as Xion changed quickly from Hidan form to Yui form.

"Sorry." She said while seeing the ground and began digging it with several energy shovels. "Go on uncle. Tell me about the liquid nitrogen."

'_Simple, make sure it lands in a deep enough hole and fill it with enough liquid nitrogen to overflow it._' Yui smirked as the Mammoth charged at Xion.

Only to crash into the hole as Rattlesnake Jake blasted its eyes.

"Take that you denizen of the blazing pits!"

"Yui, get ready for a bath!" Xion said while summoning a portal that caused a giant hose to appear.

"**WOOOOOO!**"

'_Give this elephant a bath!_'

Xion grinned while aiming the hose and sent a blast of liquid nitrogen at the Mammoth.

"**WOOO-**"

SIZZZ!

The snake moved away while surprised a small rodent could stop a giant like that as Xion took out a DISK.

"O-Secure!" She said while sending the creature into the now dark amber DISK with its face on it. "Contained."

'_Congratulations, you caught a hairy elephant!_'

"A Mammoth, elephants and mammoths are two separate species." Xion corrected him.

'_To me they're too similar._' He shrugged while noticing the rattlesnake was watching them.

"We have one more left here." The girl said eyeing Rattlesnake Jake. "And it's the snake from hell. Who just fought a undead alien possessed mammoth."

"W-Woah there, easy now, let's not get hasty."

"Well it's a choice, well not really." She sighed. "You are an outlaw that kills, but you also killed a corrupt mayor. With that your sentence is lessened, but not by much. But if you become a DISK, you can redeem yourself before the devils come to take your blackened soul first."

'_So either join us, or wait until an even bigger bird comes to eat you._'

He hissed before tipping his head. "As you wish, but it better have some fine accommodations and a chance to send bullets into those foolish souls bound for hell."

"Yes, after all, you will face bigger and more dangerous threats." Xion said while taking out a DISK. "Some of them needing a bit of lead in their brains."

"Then I'm the snake for the job." He smirked.

"O-Secure." Xion said while sending the gunslinger into a now amber DISK with a hat in the center of it. "Contain, for now. Hopefully Noix doesn't send another giant like that after us."

'_Wow, that's not foreboding at all._' remarked Yui sarcastically.

"Huh?" She said while opening a portal. "Anyway, our next stop is far far FAR away from deserts….I think?"

'_Might wanna invest in a map._'

Xion deadpanned while walking inside the portal.

(Elsewhere)

Noix frowned while looking through the DISKS and started to see red. "Fuck! One job. One job and he blew it!" She grumbled while moving away and looked at a DISK with a black color scheme to it. "Maybe this new villain will work? After all, it can build worlds."

_To be continued._

_Next Episode: Capture Mission #3, Cops and Bricks oh War!_


End file.
